Eee By Gum It’s Cowd

11th  February 2021

Journey Length 12.94ml plus a bit more

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Unfortunately the app lost GPS on a couple of occasions

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Another Thursday morning arrived and with both Graham and myself still furloughed it was adventure time, incorporating our daily exercise during lockdown. Being during the day we were able to really take our time, no worries of us losing the light. I had been in contact with Graham and given him the opportunity to choose where we would go on our adventure, he suggested we try around Clifton Country Park. 

I arranged to meet him at the basin at Nob End. I rode down along the canal, crossed over Hall Lane and as it proved, chose the wrong path. I chose to go along the path through Moses Gate Country Park. Due to the very cold weather over the past week everywhere was frozen solid, and where it had thawed in the sun was now like a skating rink with a thin layer of water on top making it extremely dangerous as well as very slow going.

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I reached our meeting point. Graham was sitting on one of the forms. He looked absolutely frozen, but when he saw me he came to life. The basin was frozen and had a thin covering  of snow on it. We set off towards Ringley along the towpath. It was quite busy with people taking their daily exercise, as we passed one couple we rang our bells to warn them of our approach, they thanked us and said it was nice that we’d used our bell, ring ring.

A police lorry was parked up near Bolton Water Treatment Plant as we passed I noticed it was an Underwater Search and Marine Unit, so intrigued  I stopped to take a quick snap but couldn’t see anyone around, maybe it was just an exercise as there were no other police vehicles around.  We continued on to Clifton Country Park and it was here we were once again thanked for our bell ringing Ding Dong. Graham led the way and as he came to a couple of women walking along he rang his bell, ding ding. They immediately smiled and  thanked him, as I rode passed I rang my bell too, they both laughed as they appreciated the humour. The marina itself was frozen over and the birds stood on the ice looking around for an area to swim in.

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At a junction at the far side of the park we took the path down to the river. The reason was that the previous day out riding I had met a lovely couple who told me the path near the Pilkington factory had nearly eroded away and probably wouldn’t be passable for much longer, so we had to investigate.The path had indeed deteriorated since we last rode along it but it wasn’t as bad as we thought it would be.

We had ridden this path a great many times over the past 11 or so years,  we therefore knew what to expect. We started off well until we came to a point  where you have to be quite careful. There is a very narrow point with a 60 foot drop down to the river on the left. There is a  safety barrier but it is on the opposite side to the steep drop down to the river ( don’t ask me why ). As I got to this point I realised too late that the handlebars on my new Hellcat bike are quite a bit wider than that of my old bike and misjudging this fact, bang!  My right handle bar clipped the metal barrier and knocked me off balance,  managing to regain it just in time to stay upright. All I heard from behind me was “ Bloody Hell, woah Jesus !!”. I had managed to regain control of my bike by some miracle or other and stopped shortly after. I said to Graham `” Woah, that was a bit of a squeaky bum moment”. he replied “ bloody hell it was even worse from my viewpoint , really thought you were a gonna there pal”. That was a bit more than extreme biking !!

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We stopped for a breather just after Clifton Aqueduct. Here Graham decided to show me the number of layers of clothing he had on, 1,2,3,4,5 ……….6,7 and 8 which included a heated vest, I feel like the Michelin man he joked. It was in fact a truly extremely cold day with the wind chill factor making it feel like -7C so Graham’s layers were justified, if a little amusing. We rode onwards until we came to an area bathed in winter sunshine so we stopped at a picnic bench in Forest Bank park , I got my flask out much to Graham’s delight and we both enjoyed a hot brew. While we sat there Graham looked around at the large field jokingly saying that “the air ambulance would be able to land here, I had visions of me sat there with you saying “stay with me pal it’s gonna be ok” It really scared me pal I really thought you were gonna end up in the river back there, I don’t know how you didn’t”, To be truthful I’ve no idea either, I like to think that Phil looking down over me that day.

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Thoroughly warmed up we left the park and headed up Rainscough Brew, which is a long and very steep brew. Part way up Graham who was in front stopped and called out “ I’ve got a puncture” oh shit I thought just what we need, but as I got close he turned to me and with his silly cheeky grin said “ not really pal, my legs have just gone”. So we pushed our bikes up the hill only to be overtaken by a bloke out walking, a bit embarrassing for extreme bikers, but in our defense it’s only our 2nd outing in over 18 months.

Travelling down Bury New Road towards Whitefield Graham was nearly taken out by an idiot in a car just stopping to park up with total disregard for my best mate. We therefore decided to leave the road at the earliest opportunity .This took us down Clifton Road, which we hoped would have led us to the river. Now if we hadn’t seen a sign for Waterdale Park we would have come to the car park and the main paths, but we decided to go down the small dirt path at the side of the sign. Not knowing where Waterdale Park was but thinking it would lead somewhere we set off. A bad decision on our part .The path was dirt with large stones on either side, which in normal weather would have been fine, but the water had frozen in the middle all the way down approx 100m, we couldn’t use our brakes properly, it just made us go faster skidding down so we had to use all our extreme biking skills honed over many years to get us safely to the bottom. We now knew where we were and headed up to the bridge that crossed the M60. We stopped at the top of the hill Graham asked “ How many times have we been up here pal” , “ loads of times pal “ I replied. He then pointed to a sign behind me, Waterdale Park. All the times we’d been there and never clocked the sign, ahh well live and learn.

Now we  headed homeward along Red Rock Lane where we noticed that they were carrying out some work near the old Victorian Sewage Works, a place we had been chased off like a couple of naughty teeanagers a few years back by a security guard .Once back in Ringley I stopped off at a local shop to pick up some milk, as I went inside Graham said “ I’ll mind your bike mate” like a couple of kids again, happy days. We had decided to cross the river using the old Pack Horse bridge and near the bridge I saw what looked like a shortcut to the canal but it turned out to be just a circular path. Graham had stopped behind me and as we set off I heard this crashing noise , as I looked back I saw Graham disappear in the long grass. I couldn’t help but laugh, all the difficult terrain we had encountered and he’d fallen off in some grass, ha ha ha. We went up to the basin and then the world descended into a scene from a Chuckle Bros sketch. It went something like this:

Me : Has there always been 2 forms there ?

Graham : Errm

Me : Was there only 1 form before I can’t remember ?

Graham : Ughh

Me : Has there always been 2 forms there ?

Graham : Forms ?????

Me : Yeah , 1 or 2  

Graham : What are you on about ?

Me : I don’t remember seeing 2 before 

Graham : What form are you talking about ?

Me : The forms there

Graham looked at me with a puzzled expression. I then pointed to the 2 forms a couple were sitting on, “ ahh you mean benches’ ‘ he said ” yeah benches, forms they’re the same” I stated. Graham had never heard of then being called forms before and was convinced I was having him on.” Forms are what you fill in “ he said confidently.

Things you learn when you’re extreme biking , on that note we parted company after a very entertaining but extremely cold adventure.